A Guy

So there’s this guy who seems unrealistically nice, almost too good to be true. And that’s what scares me.

Background on me… Due to unforeseeable and unpredictable events in the past, I’m not only depressed, but anytime I get into a relationship I ruin it by not giving my partner the emotional support they need. That is to say, I am not one to care about the emotions of others, besides my immediate family, because I find it exhausting.

This is why I’ve started to remove emotions out of my relationships with people. Now that leaves me with other people who also remove emotions from relationships, and not all of them are douches, but many of them are. I’m a very messed up individual who does not know how to show emotion and when I feel too much towards another person I become overwhelmed and panic.

Now, this guy does not know any of this, nor does he know of my past. He is the physical embodiment of innocence. It makes me jealous that someone can be that innocent. And it is because of his innocence that I am afraid to even continue talking to him. He deserves someone so much more, and I’m scared I’ll just fuck this up like I have in the past.

– Ani

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